How to Create a Birth Plan That Actually Works for You

Ah, the birth plan. One of those things that sounds simple enough in theory—write down what you want, hand it over, and job done, right? Except… no one really tells you how to do it in a way that actually works for you.

Because let’s be honest—birth has a funny way of doing its own thing. So instead of treating your birth plan like a rigid checklist (which, spoiler alert, can lead to disappointment), let’s talk about how to make one that truly serves you, your birth, and your baby.

It’s Not About Controlling Birth—It’s About Knowing Your Options

If I could give you one golden rule for birth planning, it would be this: it’s not about making birth follow a script, it’s about making sure you’re not just along for the ride. You don’t need to predict every twist and turn, but you do need to know what’s possible, what matters most to you, and how to communicate that clearly.

Think of it like planning a wedding outdoors. You’re hoping for sunshine, but you’ll have a brolly and some fairy lights ready just in case the rain turns up. You’re prepared, not rigid.

The Essentials of a Birth Plan (A.K.A What Actually Matters)

When it comes to writing your plan, keep it simple and focus on the things that will make a real difference to your experience. Some things to think about:

🌀 Where do you feel safest? Home, birth centre, hospital—wherever you feel most comfortable is where your body will labour best.

💛 Who do you want with you? Your birth team matters. Whether it’s a partner, a midwife, a doula, or your best mate who gives the best pep talks, surround yourself with people who make you feel safe and supported.

🌿 Pain relief—yay or nay? And I don’t just mean epidurals! Have a think about whether you want a birth pool, massage, hypnobirthing, or all of the above. Also, be open to changing your mind on the day. You’re allowed to.

🚀 Interventions—where do you stand? Some people want to avoid them as much as possible, others feel reassured knowing they’re an option. Either way, knowing the risks and benefits beforehand will help you make informed choices in the moment.

👶 What happens after birth? Delayed cord clamping? Skin-to-skin? Vitamin K for baby? Who’s cutting the cord? These little decisions can make a big difference to your first moments with your baby.

Flexibility is Your Superpower

A birth plan that works is one that allows for the unexpected. The best way to do that? Focus less on the how and more on the why.

Instead of writing, “I want a water birth at home,” try, “I want a calm, low-intervention birth where I feel in control.” That way, if things need to shift—say, you end up in a birth centre instead—you can still create the experience you’re hoping for, even if the setting changes.

Because the goal isn’t a perfect birth—it’s an empowered one.

Communicating Your Plan (Without Feeling Awkward)

You don’t need to memorise your birth plan like it’s an Oscar speech, but you do need to be able to communicate what’s important to you.

A few top tips:

📄 Keep it short & clear – No one in the birth room has time to read a five-page essay. Bullet points are your friend.

💬 Talk it through beforehand – Have a chat with your midwife, birth partner, or anyone else who will be there so they understand your preferences.

📢 Advocacy matters – If you’re not up for explaining things mid-labour (understandable, given you’ll be a bit busy), make sure your birth partner is ready to speak up for you.

Birth Plan = Birth Confidence

At the end of the day, writing a birth plan isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about making sure you feel informed, prepared, and supported—so that whatever happens, you know you’ve made the right decisions for you and your baby.

So grab your partner and a cuppa, have a think, and start jotting down what really matters to you. And if you need help, you know where to find me.

With love and support, Anne